Take it back
by mathisson
Summary: "Drunk words are sober thoughts" One night was all he asked for. One night to prove that she could be the strong woman he knew she could be. But when a family emergency happens and Bella is forced to seek out Edward, can she forgive him his cruel words. Or will the hurt be too much? One shot, CC, AH and as always HEA
1. Chapter 1

Title: Take it All Back

Author: Mathisson

Rating: M

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Bella/Edward

Disclaimer: The characters used belong to Twilight and Stefanie Meyer. No copy write infringement is intentional. The plot, however, belongs to Mathisson.

Take it All Back

Bella's POV

"Of course, I will tell him."

"I'll go right now, he's with his friends and I'm sure the music is too loud to hear phones ringing."

The bar was indeed loud with bright lights changing with the beat of the music. I felt so out of place, wearing old jeans and a ratty t-shirt, but I wasn't here for fun. No, I was here to deliver news that was never pleasant to give. I searched the crowded room for several minutes, the sea of bodies gyrating against each other. This had been too much for me, thus the reason he was here alone with his friends.

Looking at the mass of people I noticed the scantily clad girls, skirts that looked to be more like wash cloths than clothing. The real reason I didn't frequent places like this. Girls like these went after what they wanted at the moment, no care for the repercussions or the lives they destroyed in their path. I noticed a dark haired girl, her skirt riding up to show the edge of her ass cheeks. I glanced passed her and my eyes landed on him…Edward.

I met Edward a year and a half ago. I had tripped on the curb outside of work and cut my hand bad enough to require stitches. He was the doctor in the emergency room who took care of me. He talked to me while stitching me up and we discovered that we had several mutual friends. A few days later, he called me and asked me to dinner. I refused at first, but he was persistent and still is. He would ask me every time he saw me and after a while I gave in. After that first dinner, I was hooked. He did everything right by sending me flowers and taking me to nice places for dinner. After we had been together for a year, he asked my dad for my hand in marriage. Even his proposal was from a story book.

His eyes landed on mine and I instantly knew he was angry. I looked to the floor as I headed in his direction. I would just tell him the news and then his anger would vanish. I would get him where he needed to be. The closer I got, the angrier he looked. I watched as he took a long drink from his bottle of beer, he stumbled a bit so I knew he had been drinking for a while. Standing in front of him he wouldn't look at me instead looking at his cousin, Emmett.

"I don't fucking believe this shit."

I opened my mouth to tell him the reason I was here, but he started shouting at me, effectively cutting me off.

"I asked for one night Bella, one fucking night and you can't even give me four hours before you're plastering yourself to my side?"

I would have interrupted him, but the words stung and I noticed people staring at us.

"You can't even trust me to have a drink with my friends?...What?...Like I'm going to fuck the first girl who flashed her pussy at me?"

I had been in counseling for years due to my trust issues. My biological parents told me they were going to the store and would be back in an hour. A few days later, the chief of police found me huddled in a closet crying. I was placed in his home and later when my parents couldn't be found, he and his wife Renee adopted me. I told Edward the story from the beginning. He knew I had massive issues and yet he wanted to help me.

"I'm sick of this Bella! I'm sick of the look in your eyes every time I talk to another girl. I'm sick of waiting for you to get your shit together so that we can be a normal couple; a couple that has sex for fucks sake!"

I knew he was completely drunk, but that didn't make the words sting any less. I had questioned him hundreds of times if the way I felt was an issue for him, hell, I even encouraged him to go find someone else who was normal. He told me that he loved me for who I was and that included my little quirks.

"You know what?...Your fear I'm going to leave you? It's bullshit! How many years have to pass before you realize that not everyone leaves? Well here it is, now you can finally have something to tell that overpriced shrink you see!"

I watched as he took another drink of beer followed by grabbing the red haired girl that had her back to him. He spun her around and planted a searing kiss on her.

"The engagement is off! I want your shit out of my house. I want my stuff out of yours and I want you to lose my number!"

I watched with a trembling lip as he wrapped his arm around the red head and walked away.

"Bella, honey, talk to me, he's just drunk…"

I looked at the sheets of paper clutched in my hands, the reason why I was here, the news I had to deliver.

"Emmett…." I cut him off. It didn't matter why he said the things he did; the point was that he said them.

"I need you to give this to him; it's very important."

Emmett took the pages from me then tried to hug me.

"Carlisle was in a major accident earlier this evening. Esme said the pressure on his brain is too high or something. They are worried they may not be able to save him."

"That is his airline ticket, Esme booked it for him. He leaves in an hour and there is a taxi waiting outside."

I handed the confirmation number, as well as, the address of the hospital in Seattle. I nearly forgot to give him the overnight bag I packed for him.

"Let him know that I already called his work and they said to call when he had word about his father."

I passed the bag to Emmett. He wanted to say something, but this was his uncle and I knew he would do anything he needed to get Edward on that plane. I was holding on so tight to the tears that begged to fall. The ticket that was tucked in my back pocket was burning a hole in my heart. Esme had insisted on buying me one as well. She said I was already family, however, I would wait a few days before I told her what transpired tonight.

"Bella, just let me get him."

I placed my hand on Emmett's arm stopping him. When I was first introduced to him, I assumed he was a steroid freak or at least a linebacker. I was surprised to find out he was a neurologist. He and Edward had attended med school together.

"No Emmett, get him to his mother, she needs her son with her right now."

I gave one more look to where Edward was, with three girls now and dancing in the middle of the revolving dance floor they were on, showing me his hands that were already traveling up the leg of the red head he had kissed earlier. I turned quickly as the first tear blurred my vision. I hurried for the door. I didn't want to have the breakdown that was certain to come in a room full of strangers. Passing the bouncer, he wished me a good night. I couldn't respond, because it was going to be anything but.

I pressed my back to the brick wall just outside the club. I wanted to be able to text Esme that Edward was on his way, so I stood far enough away that they couldn't see me. Not even three minutes later, a very angry Emmett had Edward by the back of the neck shoving him out the door. There other friend, Ben, was holding it open. I watched as Emmett tossed the bag into the back seat of the taxi and then held the print out of the ticket in Edward's face. He said nothing as Emmett spoke wildly, his hands motioning all over the place. Poor Ben just stood there watching like I was. Finally, Edward made a move to go around Emmett and back in the club. Emmett quickly stopped him by placing his hand in the center of his chest. He shook his head no and then Edward's entire body slumped. Emmett hugged him before they both climbed into the back seat of the cab.

Esme, he's on his way…Bella

I hit send and then began pressing the buttons necessary to restore factory settings. I pulled the battery out of the back and removed the Sims card. Edward had insisted on buying me that overpriced phone. He wanted me to have nice things. I told him I only wanted him. At least I had kept the box that the phone came in; he could return it and get his money back.

Edward lived in a very simple apartment not far from the hospital where he worked. Emmett had always teased him saying that with the cash in his bank account, he could afford to live downtown. Edward said he wanted to be near his friends, the restaurants, and bars in the neighborhood. He had asked me to move in with him several times, but I had always refused. I don't know, maybe I knew this night would come; when I would be removing myself from his world.

I didn't have much in his house, a few sweaters and some baking essentials. I took all of the pictures of us together and replaced them with photos I found in one of his family albums. I even gave the countertop in the house a cleaning, removing my scent. I placed the key he had given me on his bar. My fingers were trembling as I looked down to my left ring finger, the diamonds in the ring glistening from the lights in the ceiling. He told me it was off. He didn't want to marry me. I tried to will myself to remove that ring, but I just couldn't do it.

"I'll do it tomorrow."

My dresser was free from dust, a picture of Edward and me resting in the center. He was dressed in a linen white shirt and I had a light blue summer dress on. We had been at his parent's summer cabin. It was the weekend he proposed.

"_Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every single moment of forever__…"_

I can still hear his words clearly, even now. He stood up from the dinner table that night and asked me to be his wife with everyone we loved surrounding us. We kissed and hugged and I nearly gave him my virginity that night. He had told me that he had waited this long so he could wait a little longer.

My mother took that picture. Edward said it was his favorite. He had a copy on his phone, desk and at work.

"_Promise to love you forever__…"_

"You lied." I said through tears as I slammed the photo face down on the dresser.

I placed every piece of jewelry back in its original container. I had begged him time and time again to stop buying me things like this, but that only made him give me more. The red plastic gumball ring was the most treasured one he ever gave me. We had been walking around Navy Pier when we decided to stop by a Greek diner to eat. While we were waiting he walked over and placed a quarter in the machine and out came this ring. He slid it on my finger and then smiled as an older couple watched him.

"_He is a keeper honey,__" __the lady told me_.

I lost the battle as the tears flowed freely and the ring became a red blur.

I once heard that things look better in the morning. Clearly, they had never had a night like mine. Esme had purchased a ticket for me, as well as, Edward. Due to complications with the airline, she couldn't get two seats on any plane last night. I told her not to worry that I would come later. My plane was scheduled to leave this evening. Tossing random clothes in a backpack, I made my way to the airport. I had managed to call my mother earlier today and explained that she needed to call all the vendors and cancel everything. She put my father on the phone, he told me to get on that plane and he would be there to pick me up. Once I laid eyes on my dad outside baggage claim, I fell into his arms and cried. Even daddy's arms and gentle voice couldn't make the hurt go away.

It was nearly three in the morning when I arrived at the hospital. Visiting hours were long over unless you're visiting the chief of staff. The halls empty except for an occasional nurse making bed checks or a doctor finishing up his notes. Carlisle was still in ICU. Dad told me the pressure had increased and they had to operate. Emmett had insisted on being in the operating room, but hospital policy forbade it. Esme was sitting at the end of his bed, her glasses resting on the end of her nose. She was busy crocheting a blanket for Edward's sister, Alice. Alice and her husband, Jasper, were expecting their first baby in a few months.

"Bella?" Her soft voice wrapped around my heart.

Esme had shown me nothing but love since the first day I met her. When she and Carlisle came to Chicago for a visit, when Edward finished his residency, she wrapped me in a tight hug and has yet to let me go.

Carlisle is a handsome man with his soft golden hair had just a smattering of gray along the sides. His face didn't show his true age or his activities. Carlisle was an avid runner and had participated in many marathons. He and Edward always traveled when they could run together. It was quite a sight to see when they ran beside each other. I made sure to use the picture of them at the finish line of the Chicago marathon last year to replace the one of Edward and me at his place. He didn't look like the same man lying there with tubes and wires running everywhere. His face was swollen and badly bruised along with a cast on one arm and his leg in a trapeze at the end of the bed.

"He's alive, Bella."

Esme always did have the gift of knowing what to say.

"I wish I could say the same about my son."

I didn't even try to act surprised by her words. Esme and my mother were best friends since the engagement. I had no doubt my mother had already informed her of the end of our relationship. However, I wasn't here for that. I was here to support Carlisle and Esme, their son was no longer my concern. I jumped slightly when I noticed Edward's hand twitch. He was leaning over the bed with his face planted beside his father's good arm. His hair a complete mess and he was still wearing the same clothes he had worn to the bar that night. I wanted to walk over and straighten it, place a blanket over him, do something to give him comfort, but it wasn't my role anymore. He would have someone new to do that, someone who didn't have the issues that I have.

"Can you do something for me, Bella?"

I turned to Esme, her glasses now in her lap. Her eyes clouded with exhaustion, but still she was beautiful.

"Anything." I whispered.

She reached her hand out for me and I crossed the room to take it.

"You know sometimes we say things that we really don't mean. I know it isn't an excuse, but don't do anything rash until you both have time to talk."

I wanted to do this for her. She had always been so wonderful to me, but I just couldn't. Edward had made his feelings clear to me; confirmed the suspicions that I have had all this time.

"And sometimes a little liquid courage gives us the ability to speak the truth."

She squeezed my hand as a tear fell down her cheek.

"I will always love you Bella. I just hope you can forgive him when it's time."

Forgiveness wasn't something he wanted from me, but I knew what he did want. I walked around the bed and leaned over to give Carlisle a kiss on the cheek.

"You have to get better. The new baby will need his grandpa to show him how to tie his running shoes." I whispered into his ear.

I walked around the other side of the bed to where Edward still slept soundly. I slowly removed the engagement ring from my finger and quietly placed it on Edward's pinky. With a quick kiss to his temple, I spoke my final words to him.

"Goodbye, Edward."

It had been a week since that night. Carlisle had woken up and the pressure in his brain had returned to normal. My mother had left several messages on my home machine, but I just couldn't deal with it yet. Once I got back to Chicago, I dove head first into my work. I was the first one there and the last to leave.

Last night I had sealed the final box of our relationship. A few weeks ago, Esme had sent me a piece of her grandmother's china. It was old and yet so beautiful, I couldn't wait to display it in our home. Alice had refused it, saying she wanted the opal ring instead. Edward thought the dishes would make me happy. He was right. The box sat in the corner of my office, packed up with more popcorn than a movie theater. I had already called a professional shipping company to take it back to Seattle.

I hated being in my apartment. Every corner had a memory of something Edward had done for me or something we had shared. I wanted to leave and never walk back into that place. Maybe if I didn't have these memories, I wouldn't hurt so much. Was that such a bad idea? I had nothing tying me to Chicago. I could get a job with another publisher if I wanted to. A bigger city and a new life. The thought of starting over did more than just get me thinking, it got me fine tuning my resume and doing a search of publishing houses that were hiring. I found two that looked promising; one was in New York and the second in Seattle. For obvious reasons, Seattle was not what I hoped for.

Later in the week, on Thursday, I had my resume perfect and an email typed up with it in an attachment when an alert for a new email sounded. It was from Carlisle. I was so excited to hear from him, I saved the email I was working on in a draft and quickly opened Carlisle's.

Bella,

Esme tells me that things are not good between my son and yourself. I can't tell you how sorry I am to have caused all of this. If I hadn't been stupid enough to drive home so late, I never would have had that accident, and you would not have had to break your word to my son, and in the end, Edward wouldn't have said what he did. I've sent Edward back to Chicago. He needs to be on his hands and knees begging for you to even let him lick the souls of your shoes. If it is one thing I have learned in all of my years on this earth, it is that life is short. I have tried to live each day without regret. I've done a good job until that night. Bella, I know the last thing you want to do right now is see Edward. I wouldn't ask this of you if I wasn't desperate. I want to go to my grave feeling as if I had done everything in my power to right the wrong I caused you. Please for me, be at the ninth street coffee house tomorrow at noon. Edward has agreed to be there as well. Please just talk to him. He has heard every angle to this story except from you. Do this for me. Please.

Carlisle

The ninth street coffee house was an old warehouse that was converted into a space for different shops. It was called the coffee house due to the fact that the entire first floor was a coffee shop. Not just a place to get a brewed cup of joe, no, you could get anything coffee related you could think of. I had bought my father several mugs from here. Last time Carlisle was in town, Edward came here with him and he managed to spend a small fortune.

I always sat in the same section when I came here, so it was no surprise to see Edward's Doc Martins out of the corner of my eye. I was reading a manuscript from one of our writers, my red ink nearly covering the page.

"Hi." He spoke in a gravel voice. His shirt buttoned crooked, and his jeans looked as if he had left them to wrinkle in the dryer. This wasn't the Edward I knew, he was always proud of the way he dressed.

I didn't respond. I was too alarmed at the dark circles that made his eyes look hollow. It was clear he had lost weight and his once silky hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a while.

He sat in the chair across from me. His once green eyes were now dark with what I suspected was hatred. This was clearly a huge mistake. He didn't want to talk with me, that much was written all over his face. He must have just crawled out of bed from a good romp with the red head. He had only come today because his parents had asked him to.

I began to gather my things. I had packaged the jewelry into a nice handled bag. I didn't feel right keeping such nice pieces; he could give them to the red head. I'm certain she wouldn't argue with him for doing something nice.

"Um… these are yours. I made certain they were clean and they are in the original cases."

I pushed the bag across the table and then quickly pulled my hand back.

"The um…cell phone is in there as well. Again I kept…"

"Bella."

Edward always had this amazingly, sexy husky voice. He was famous for whispering that he loved me in my ear and causing actual goose bumps to form. I looked at my arm to see the tiny hairs standing on end.

"Please don't." I whispered with closed eyes.

I refused to cry with him right here. I had cried so much since that night that I was lucky my tears ducts even worked anymore.

"No, Bella….I need to say this."

Taking in a deep breath, I shifted my body back into the chair. I had agreed to have this closure. His face looked so drawn and tired and for just a moment, I felt really bad for him. I watched as he moved his forearms to rest on his thighs. I knew from being around him that he used this stance when he had something serious to talk about.

"Do you remember the first night we met?"

How could I forget it? I felt like such a moron for tripping on the sidewalk. When I walked in the ER, my black stockings were ripped at the knee. He didn't give me a second to answer as he continued.

"I called my mother that night and told her I met the girl I was going to marry."

I was shocked. He had never told me this before.

"I told her every detail about the way your hair smelled when I examined you. How your laugh made me feel things in my chest and how the feel of your skin was almost electrical."

I remember that night somewhat differently. I was so worried he was going to have a good laugh about me and why I was there. How he would talk about the poor girl who needed to get a life.

"You turned me down eleven times Bella."

I knew it was a couple of times, I thought he was just being crazy. It was actually Emmett who convinced me to accept his invitation. I had no idea he kept count.

"After I took you home, I stood outside your door and sent a text to my mother, confirming I was going to marry you."

My eyes found the letters on the side of the bag I had given him to be very interesting. I didn't know where he was going with this. Shouldn't he just wish me luck with the rest of my life?

"When you confided in me the pain you had experienced as a young girl, I wanted to protect you from ever feeling that hurt again. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would need to protect you from me."

My eyes shifted to his face seeing his eyes were now locked with mine. I knew this look. I had seen it only one other time. Edward had been spending an excessive amount of time at work. I took it upon myself to take him dinner one night. When I found him in an exam room, with a tall blonde wrapped around him, I turned and walked out. He called my name, but I continued to walk. I was nearly to the entrance when I was blocked by another doctor. It turns out that the blonde had come into the ER due to a failed suicide attempt. If I had entered the room only seconds prior, I would have witnessed Edward telling her she was pregnant. She was so happy that she jumped off the exam table and into his arms. He told me he could only imagine how bad it looked to find him in another woman's arms. His face was the same then, remorseful.

"That night, I had been bragging to anyone who would listen that I just knew you had gotten over your fears. That all the therapy and my constant reassurances had worked. I don't really know when my mood changed. The more I thought about you being better, the more I thought you wouldn't need me anymore. Maybe you would want someone else."

In the time Edward and I had been together, I never considered he may be insecure about us. I always thought he had all of the answers and enough self-confidence for an entire room. It seems I assumed wrong.

"When I woke up and noticed your ring on my finger, I lost it. My mother had to make me go to the waiting room to compose myself."

I felt like a coward; I should have waited to give him the ring back face to face.

"I screwed up." His voice was full of conviction as he moved closer to me.

"I said things that I can never take back. I made my mother and my father disappointed in the way I handled myself; I have never done that before in my life. But worst of all, I made you cry."

I was wrong about my tear ducts, they began to work again at his words.

"Bella, please don't cry."

I tried to smile and make myself stop crying, but it was futile. Edward was quick to move to my chair wrapping me in his arms.

"I'm sorry baby…. I'm so sorry….I'm going to fix this. I'm going to get you back and I'm going to marry you and make you so happy that when you look back on this, you will say this is what made our relationship stronger."

His words only made me cry harder and he continued to promise to make things right.

"Edward?" My voice was shaky and cracked with emotion.

"Yes?" His eyes were now searching my face.

Should I tell him about my desire to start my life over? Should I just simply tell him to go fuck himself?

"You need to know that I have applied for a new job. After what happened, I just assumed you would move on with red-headed girl. I have an interview on Monday in Seattle."

Would my news free him? Send him back to the girl from the club?

"Then I better call my dad and tell him I will be joining him at Seattle Grace."

My breath caught as I looked into his eyes. This was his chance to be rid of me and my hang ups. To have sex with nameless girls and to date beautiful women with no strings attached.

He leaned away from me and gave me his signature grin.

"Bella, I made a huge mistake of saying the things I did to you and grabbing the first girl I came across just to upset you."

The mention of the girl caused my eyes to water again.

"Her name was Victoria and she was there with her bridal party. She's getting married in three weeks and I had to go to her fiancée and apologize to him."

His words made my eyes widen; why would he do that?

"I gave your father my word to always protect you. I had to swear to him that I would make all of this right."

I was shocked, speechless. My dad never mentioned that he had spoken with him.

"I convinced your mother not to cancel any of the vendors for our wedding."

I couldn't stop the words that fell from my mouth at his admission.

"Why? They aren't rich people, they need to get their deposit back."

Edward never made anyone aware of his wealth. His family came from money and he grew up having the finer things in life. However, his father insisted he and his sister have part-time jobs to help pay for their car insurance. Edward never flaunted his money around me, except when he would buy me gifts.

"Because, I'm going to make this right between us. I'm going to propose to you all over again and I'm going to make you remember why you loved me in the first place. Mark my words Ms. Swan, I will get you back."

When I first met Edward, he was persistent about me having dinner with him. He was even more persistent when he asked for a second date. However, nothing compared to the amount of time and effort he was now putting toward getting us back together. First, it was the flowers he had delivered to me while I sat waiting for my flight to Seattle. Then, he arranged for a car to take me to my hotel. Every morning, I had French toast delivered from a mom and pop restaurant in town. Edward had always bragged about how good it was, but never got to take me.

When I returned, I had a surprise visitor in my office. Victoria, the red head from the club, wanted to assure me that Edward apologized for touching her the way that he did. She encouraged me to make him sweat a little then invited me to her wedding.

Over the next few weeks, Victoria and I became friends. She introduced me to her sister, Rose. Rose was this absolutely beautiful blonde with a huge heart. She confessed that she had broken up with her boyfriend and hated all men. Rose and I compared stories of our exes and she won hands down when she confessed he beat her. After hearing her story, Edward's actions didn't seem so bad.

During those weeks, Edward was over the top with his charm. I had flowers, fruit bouquets, lunch from my favorite restaurants. He would send me letters reminding me of how much I meant to him.

The day of Victoria's wedding, I was asked to help get the bridal party ready. It was bittersweet as I wondered what my day would have been like. I took my seat in the church and heard a throat clear beside me. I looked up to see a very handsomely dressed Edward. He excused himself and sat beside me, leaving a few inches of space between us. That feeling of comfort began to return. At the reception, Edward was seated several tables away from me. Every time I looked his way, he was smiling and winked at me. Once the dancing started, Edward asked me to dance. When I placed my hands on his shoulders, the feeling of being complete returned.

"You know that when I dance with you at our wedding, I'm never letting you go."

A huge part of me wanted it to be true, that he would really ask me to marry him again; to be happy again.

Spring turned to summer and summer drifted to fall. Halloween had always been one of my favorite holidays. I always loved the idea of pretending to be someone or something else, if only for a few hours. This year I decided to stay inside and watch movies.

I had been called for a second interview with the Seattle publishing company, but they couldn't schedule me until after Thanksgiving. I had just settled on the couch when my doorbell rang. Standing on the other side was Edward dressed as a vampire. He was holding a bag full of my favorite candy and Chinese takeout. Laughing, I let him in.

Thanksgiving I spent with my parents, my father wanted to know who he could talk to about making certain I got the job in Seattle. He had never been thrilled with the idea of me being in Chicago and now that Edward and I were not together, he wanted me to move closer to home. Esme came over and asked if I would consider meeting the family in New York for the New Year. I told her I would think about it.

When I returned to Chicago, Edward asked me on a proper date. With a ton of conviction, I agreed. It was nothing over the top; no fancy restaurants or opera tickets. It was dinner at a local burger joint and a movie. He didn't even try to kiss me goodnight. Over the next few weeks, he invited me to dinner several more times. Each time he returned me to my door, but didn't attempt to kiss me.

It was a rainy Saturday when Edward called and asked if I wanted to meet him and Emmett at a local sports bar for wings and beer. I had just invited Rose over and told him I couldn't, he suggested I bring Rose along. We didn't even get past the introductions when we noticed Emmett and Rose were locked in each other's eyes.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered in my ear.

I hadn't heard him say that to me in several months. No matter how hard I tried not to have feelings for him, I still loved him.

"I love you too, Edward."

His face lit up like a kid on Christmas. Closing the short distance between us, his lips were on mine. Kissing Edward had always made me feel things in my body, but this time it was different.

Things changed for us that day, Edward began to touch me again and his efforts to show me his intentions increased. I heard from the publishing company and they wanted to offer me a position. I wanted to think about it and be certain I still wanted a new life. I also called Esme and told her I would be happy to join them in New York. I decided I would tell everyone after the new year of my decision.

Edward was thrilled when he found out I would be in New York with him. Esme arranged for hotels directly inside Times Square. When we finally met up with Esme and Carlisle, I was surprised to see my parents too. Growing up, I had always watched the ball drop in Times Square, but never dreamed I would ever get to see it firsthand.

The wind was blowing and it started to snow when we made our way to the street. Edward hadn't let go of me since that day at the sports bar and if I was being honest, I welcomed his closeness. Being on the street was like being at one huge party with everyone wearing crazy hats and glasses. I don't really remember laughing so hard, or being so completely happy.

Edward surprised me when he told me that he wanted to be close to the stage where they broadcasted the "Dick Clark Rockin' Eve." He held my hand tight as he made his way through the crowd. It was five minutes to midnight when he finally stopped and turned around wrapping his arms around me from behind. I could see the current celebrity singing her latest hit on the stage and I clapped along with the crowd as Edward tightened his hold on me. The song ended before the last minutes of the current year ticked away. Edward turned my body to face his as people began to shout the remaining seconds.

"Bella, you have to know that I am nothing without you."

His words caught my attention; not only was I hearing them from his mouth, but from the sound system that the music just came from. I looked up to one of the huge monitors that hung from the surrounding buildings and there on the screen were our profiles.

"I made the mistake of chasing you away once. I'm a quick learner and I can swear to you that I will never do that again."

The crowed began to cheer as Edward dropped to one knee.

"Isabella Marie Swan, please do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife."

I didn't hear the crowed after that, I only saw his green eyes pleading with mine. I had to come clean with him and tell him that I was starting a new life in Seattle.

"Edward..." My voice was quivering while I lowered myself to the ground with him. I watched his face fall already anticipating my answer.

"You have to know that I forgave you a long time ago for what happened."

"But…." he replied.

"But…" I swallowed hard and lowered my gaze.

"I got the job in Seattle; I'm moving home."

I had to be honest with him, to give him the opportunity to withdraw his proposal.

"Then I guess _we_ are moving to Seattle."

His smile widen and he looked like the happiest guy in the world.

"Baby, I will follow you wherever you go. Even if you tell me no tonight, I will still follow you and I will ask you to marry me every day if I have to."

I placed my glove covered hand to his red cheek. "Yes, yes I will marry you."

Six years later

"So, daddy said mean things to mommy?"

Elizabeth was our five year old. She was a pleasant surprise to say the least. Her best friend, Garrett, who was Rose and Emmett's son were best friends. Garrett had said some very mean things to her and she came running to her grandpa Carlisle. He was her hero in nearly every way.

"That's right princess. Your daddy once said such mean words that they almost didn't get married."

I watched as my daughter's eyes became big as she looked to Edward.

"But you said you were sorry right daddy?"

I smiled as I remembered coming back from New York, packing up my apartment and moving back. Edward kept his word and moved right along with me.

"I did more than say I was sorry. I made sure I didn't say mean things to her again."

He was telling her the truth. He has continued to make sure I know how much he loves me. How he is grateful I forgave him.

"Is that true momma?"

I looked over to the two most important people in my world sitting at the kitchen island. Edward was so excited when I told him we were expecting. He said it was proof to the world how much he loved me.

"Yeah baby, it is."

That was enough for Elizabeth as she left the kitchen to go play with Garrett. Edward rounded the island and wrapped his arms around my ever growing stomach from behind. We were expecting a new baby any day now. We both decided to let the sex of the baby be a surprise.

I turned from stirring a pot on the stove to look up into my husband's handsome face.

"You know you were right about something that day in the coffee shop." I said.

He smiled while massaging my lower back with his magic fingers. "What's that?"

"That one day I would look back and say that night in the club made us stronger."

Edward hugged me tight, placing his face in the crook of my neck.

"I wish I didn't have to be. I wish it never happened."

I pulled back to look into his face. Edward had confessed that he was really shaking in his boots when he said what he did that day.

"Hey." I grabbed his face pulling it down so I could kiss him.

"We got past it and we learned from it."

Placing his forehead to mine, his smile was gentle.

"That I did. I learned you can never take it back. Once the words are out, whether they are true or not, they can't be taken back."

I could laugh about it now, for over a year, I worried things would go south with us. But Edward was patient and told me he loved me every single day.

Edward began to kiss along my cheek, jaw and down to my shoulder. He told me he found me to be quite sexy when I was pregnant. He showed me all too often how true that was. His lips were currently sucking on my earlobe when I felt a hard kick.

"E..Edward..." I gasped.

"Yeah baby?" he continued to suck on my ear lobes and my neck as I tried to push him back.

"Edward, stop." My words sounding harsher.

He pulled me closer continuing his assault on my neck, moaning my name and telling me he would make it worth my while.

"Damn it Edward, my water just broke!"

Sure enough, he moved away from me quickly both us looking at the floor.

"Dad!" Edward shouted taking me by the hand, grabbing his car keys and pulled me toward the garage door.

Carlisle entered the room with Elizabeth resting in his arms. He took one look at me and began to smile.

"Elizabeth, mommy and daddy are going to go get the new baby."

I kissed my daughter's cheek and told her to be good. While Edward helped me into the car, I grabbed his arm stopping him in his tracks.

"Can I just apologize before the pain and threats begin?"

Edward laughed as he kissed my hand closing the door. He ran around the car and quickly got in his seat.

"Bella, I know you don't mean it when you swear you are never letting me touch you again. I mean you are pregnant again am I right?"

I smacked his arm as he pulled out of the driveway. He was right. Sometimes things are said during times of stress or pain. I forgave him for the hurtful words he spoke and he extended me the same courtesy. He was right again when he admitted he couldn't take them back, but he was also right when he said sometimes they only make you stronger.


	2. Chapter 2

Readers,

When I wrote my first story over five years ago, I did it to share with all of you, my favorite pastime. Over the years, I have watched this Fandom change from a place to be inspired and socialize, to a place where a select group of self elected people policed the fiction we all loved. I have wavered every storm these self licking ice-cream cones have tosses at me. I have grown thicker skin when certain people began tossing stones at the parts they didn't care for or felt I should have written differently. However when the host site chose to do nothing when a malicious company came in, copied every single story in every genre and sold those stolen works of fiction for profit.

Ive set back and accepted criticism, cursing at my ability to write, pot shots at my personal battles. However I refuse to allow unpunished theviery to continue. While I am angry and ready to allow my inner Southern girl to come out swinging, I know the real victims in all of this are the dedicated readers who wait with baited breath for every update, devouring every sentence with glee and anticipation.

So after many hours of soul searching, web scanning and speaking with one of my closest friends, I made a decision. I started a blog.

Effective immediately, I am shifting my posting to my personal blog and TWCS, a site which seems to give two shits about its authors. Now I know many of you will worry how you will receive notice of an update, and trust me Ive worried about this as well...until. Well why not use Fanfiction just as much as they have used me? So each time I have an update, I will post a note much like this to let you know to head over to my blog and have yourself a safe reading environment.

Come find me at Mathissonlive over at wordpress Or stop by my Facebook page where Ill leave a link to get to the blog. The twisted mind of Mathisson

(remove the dots) you will find ALL of my complete and WIPs


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